Signs of Love
All signs have been provided that I am indeed on my Spiritual Path and everything is exactly as it should be.
Have you ever had a memory of a past experience from childhood? One where you can remember being deeply wounded, in that moment.
Rationally, as an adult, I know what happened and why, but as a child I was devastated. To my child self, the experience hurt greatly, and stung of rejection, of not being wanted or accepted by others; being unloved.
This experience had a lasting impact on what I believed about myself and how I felt others thought about me.
I believed I was not wanted, or accepted by the group. I existed outside of the norm, outside of the warmth of friendship, play and adventure.
The memory triggered for me today was that kind of memory, but instead of wallowing, I did something different.
I consciously went back in time, as my adult self, who I am at this moment, to that child in the memory.
I went back in time to the old barn, in the hay loft, back to that child. I could see her clearly, just as she was in that moment in time. I told her I loved her. I hugged her tightly. Held her close to my heart and comforted her.
I took her hand, climbed down the ladder from the loft and walked her out of the barn, into the sunlight.
I told her I was the future version of herself and that we would be just fine. I told her not to be upset, that I loved her so much I was willing to go back in time to find her, tell her I loved her, hug her and take her away from that moment.
I could see the big smile on her face light up in recognition of what I was saying to her. I loved her deeply. I embraced her once more, covered her forehead in kisses and pulled her back into my heart, where she would be safe for all eternity.
Back in the present moment, as I sat on my couch sideways, knees bent, hands hanging loosely on my thighs; I felt free, the heaviness in my head was completely removed.
The obstacle to my growth had been healed and was now transformed into the gift that it always was.
I had held on to the trauma, the sadness of the memory, instead of receiving the gift it was meant to be. The memory was a distortion, that became part of my reality, blocking my progress forward, while I formed beliefs based on a false truth.
By loving and embracing that part of me, integrating her into my heart, I was freeing the gift, while simultaneously retrieving that part of my Soul, returning it back to my heart.
What we need shows up exactly when we need it.
I had done a Soul Retrieval meditation earlier in the morning, and until this moment in writing, had forgotten all about it.
Later, I was watching YouTube videos, in the afternoon, when I came across a young woman I had never listened to before, Regan Hillyer. She had been a speaker at an A fest retreat in 2018 and it had been published on Youtube.
At the end of her talk she walked the audience through a manifestation process, which I followed along with. That is where I met with my old memory of the hay barn and my childhood self, traveling back in time.
I can see how what I thought were two random incidences were not random at all, but pure synchronicity.
A part of my Soul had been retrieved in the morning. By the afternoon I was given an opportunity to heal and reintegrate that part of myself, along with my highest version of myself back into my heart.
A part of my old story was released, while at the same time I was being aligned with the wisdom and guidance of my higher self.
This has allowed me to move forward knowing that I am loved and accepted on a deep level.
I KNOW I am in alignment with my highest self and manifesting the life I desire to create, hiding no pain or past memories from view.
In the evening I knew it was high time I sat down to write another blog post, I had been putting it off, not knowing what wanted to be expressed or written.
So, I asked myself what I should write about. In response I received a clear message to go to Day 9 on a past quest I had done with Robin Sharma. I pulled up day 9 and there it was, the one lesson unlike any other for the entire course. A meditation where you speak with your higher self to receive guidance.
I laughed and did the meditation.
I greeted my highest self in the meditation. She laughed, running up to embrace me, kissing my forehead, and telling me how much she loved me as she held me tightly. This was exactly what I had done for myself as a child in the barn that day, when my current self, went back in time to give her the love that she so desperately needed.
How could this be?
What a strange series of events in a single day, all while I was 100% conscious, no dreaming at all.
The message was clear!
My current self loves my past self, the child with all her wounding and misunderstandings. My highest self loves me as I am in this very moment, with all the challenges, pain and confusion I am currently encountering.
My message, is to Love myself, every single version of me, past, present, along with the future and highest version of me.
All versions are now sufficiently smothered in kisses and held tightly in love’s embrace.
To make sense of all of the occurrences today, all I have to do is go back to 5 am in the morning.
I had written in my journal, in response to the question- What would it take to make today a great day? My response was that it would be a great day, if I could be shown clearly, the signs that I needed, to know that I was on my Spiritual Path and that everything was as it should be.
All I had to do was get out of the way, create the space and the time required, to follow with abandon, what was presented to me.
I had to do the work, but what was required to unearth the signs was provided to me.
I was asked to believe, be still and surrender, that’s it. Be open to what showed up and do the meditations and exercises provided by the teachers that came across my path, without doubt or judgement as to what would follow.
I did, and in return I received the abundant gifts and healing that followed, along with the clear and very tangible feelings of what it means to truly and deeply love myself on all levels.
I wish the same clarity and profound experiences for you as you ask for signs that you are indeed on your spiritual path. You are held in love always, throughout the journey, just as I am.