My relationships with people confuse me. It is all so simple with plants, animals, trees and rocks. With people I lose who I am. I cry out from all the pain, sorrow and isolation I feel when I am with people. The sense of separation is overwhelming, full of fear and anxiety.
Fear and anxiety build to such a degree when I am in a group, that my stomach cannot contain the volume of emotion. I cannot move for fear my stomach will give way. I pause, breathe, slow down and cry out for my Father’s protection. I ask my angels and guides to create a shield strong enough that I may regain my sense of Divine Connection with All. Calm overtakes me, a smile spreads across my face; I am back.
Maintaining My Connection
Maintaining my connection, not being overtaken by the great sense of separation experienced by others, is my task. I listen for the song of silence, the gentle breeze and the warm sun to hold me secure in my connection. If I lose focus for even a moment the anxiety and stress return in force. For years I believed what I was told; that it was all in my head.
The words ring in my ears, “Get control of yourself, don’t be so stressed out-RELAX”. I believed I was weak, less than, unworthy in comparison to others. The truth, I am completely connected with Source, my Father within. Since I was a child I believed; I was unlimited in my thinking and experience. I had little contact with people, alone in the woods for days at a time. Pure joy was my breath, in conversation with all I encountered.
When I saw people I smiled and shared my small joys with them. Some understood, most did not. They were cruel and unkind. I came to fear them and turned their words inward. I could feel all that they had stored within them; all the pain and poverty of Spirit. I did all that I could to avoid them.
Show Loving Kindness
As I cried out for love and understanding, to release all that I had absorbed in contact with others, I found my heart filling with compassion. I found a way to remember who I am and hold tight to that connection. I now observe others and allow them to experience the feelings they choose, without allowing them to become my own. I honor the path that they are on and maintain my own Light, as that is where I am meant to be. I show loving kindness everywhere I go, that others may remember who they are, their connection with all.