As I lie in bed, just opening my eyes, my first thoughts go to what is the Truth of the Universe. I’m not kidding. I wake up and this is what comes into my awareness. What is the nature of this whole experience? I ask to be shown as I come into consciousness, “What is the nature of God? What is the nature of the Universe?” Falling into knowing, I receive small glimpses of profound understanding.
If I allow myself to follow those moments, focus in on them, I receive immeasurable wisdom. Most often I am interrupted by life. The dog jumps up and starts attacking me with kisses. My youngest rushes into the room and wants under the covers. The alarm goes off and I am running to catch up to the day at hand.
What I have learned is that life is my experience of the profound wisdom I receive.
It is one thing to become aware it is another thing entirely to embody this awareness into your being. That takes living. I am so structured and regimented in my routines that when they disappear, due to the circumstances of life, I can feel a bit lost.
When I go far out of my ordinary routine I become worried that I have strayed or that I have failed. I fear I may have lost my connection, my Source and my goal.
The truth is, this is when I am closest to finding it- the Source of who I am.
I can’t find the Truth by doing the same thing over and over again. I can’t find the truth of who I am when life presents everything to me in a neat package. I learn by tearing it apart and getting confused. Followed by making a definitive statement- this is where I am, why I am here and how I got here.
Then and only then can I move forward in KNOWING.
That is the key for me.
I need to know- not believe, not trust, not allow another to guide me. I must know for myself who I am and what my purpose is. I need to know without question or hesitation the true nature of God- the Source of all that is.
Like driving, I must know from within me where to turn and when. If I follow blindly or listen to what everyone else is saying, doing or trying- I will have no bearings. If I follow the GPS, like a child, I will have No Way to find the road back home- back to my true self and the light within.
The only way to be me is to step out in the darkness and know Who I AM; to discover my own direction and follow the North Star within.
I am the Way, I am the truth, and I am the Life. I must know before I can believe. If I follow everyone else, I will not know who I am and I can never truly believe.
Like taking a test you may study and believe you know all the information have all the knowledge you need, but memorization doesn’t cut it in life. You must embody the wisdom within you, an innate knowing, or you can never apply it to your life as it unfolds before you. You will fail the test if your understanding is of the mind only.
This is similar to solving word problems in math. You may understand the basics of addition, subtraction and division but without wisdom you will never find a solution to the problem. Word problems are your life experiences. You must take all the parts and pull them together to gain an understanding of the larger picture, the greater whole. That is solving the problem. Without this knowing you will never embody who you ARE.
If you understand this, then you know if X amount of your material being is removed, what remains is no less than when you began? Who remains? Where do you stand? The knowing remains, standing in infinity.
You may have studied many books and followed many wise teachers, but without knowing where You stand- what You believe-who You are- you can never solve the problem. You cannot recite your way back home; you must know it.
You must be willing to Ask, to Seek and to Knock in order to receive and the door be opened unto you.
I wake each morning looking to solve the problem of knowing who I am- what I believe and where I stand. I do this by asking, by seeking and knocking on the door of God, the Source of all life.
Then I allow life to show me what I really know- beyond statements of affirmation and arguments of philosophy. What do I come back to a thousand times and KNOW to be True?
For me it is the perfection of all that is. My whole belief system hinges on this one belief. It is all perfect.
I catch glimpses of the perfection in moments of gratitude, which bring my heart back to love. I embody the perfection in receiving and in giving.
When my focus is firmly planted on love I Act from Perfection.
I am amazed at the beauty of kindness. It is gentle yet fills both the giver and the recipient with the force of unlimited love beyond measure. When I experience this I know, I trust and I believe there are no mistakes, no wrong turns, no shame, guilt or blame.
It is perfect and necessary exactly as it is. This is Falling Into Knowing. Life shows me every moment that I KNOW and that the answers are within me.