Photo: by Bill Ebbing Photography, posted by NM Life on Facebook.
Chaos My True Friend
Chaos is the limitless potential where all life begins- and my true friend.
Chaos allows for the creation of the exhilarating and exciting unknown. Chaos is where everything is possible and anything can happen. Chaos allows the shift in consciousness to happen. It brings the end of old patterns. Chaos is the deafening sound of life as I know it shattering- crashing to the floor around me.
Chaos is the crazy laughter that leaves me crying while laughing at the same time. It’s when everything collapses around me, gone so far down the rabbit hole there is nothing left, that I surrender. When chaos comes I understand that there is no saving the situation, like a cake collapsed in the center, the frosting melted down the sides. What can be done? Nothing, I serve it up with peals of laughter echoing as it is presented. It is what it is- acceptance is the only solution.
Chaos is hilarious to me, bringing me past the breaking point with laughter in tow.
Chaos creates a delirium that releases all the pent up emotion of trying to control my life. It contains an unlimited wonder of endless, vibrating, pulsating potential. Chaos is free, independent, wild and stimulating. It is the source of all new beginnings. It is the void without thought, control or limits- only the blissful feeling of complete surrender and trust remains.
When chaos is allowed full reign anything can happen. It is the car sliding wildly on the ice. I try to control it and it whips me around in the opposite direction. It can be terrifying if I think it is a thing to be dominated- something to have power over. But if I treat chaos as my exotic friend, wild and without boundaries, chaos can be an absolute blast to allow into my life. The best friend I could ever have- one who pushes me beyond my limits into uncharted territory.
I can never go back, only forward. I am left naked, running wild- no labels, no identity remains- once chaos has touched me. And when this friend leaves my side and the mania subsides- I stop- look around and pick up the pieces. I begin anew. The life I had been wishing for, but didn’t know how to find is here. Chaos is the house fire that burns all the precious valuables I thought I could never live without. At day break I find they were nothing more than a burden. I am free once more. The memories, the experiences, I hold in my heart and can never be taken away from me.
Chaos is the black hole that washes me clean, only my true essence remains.
I miss chaos when she is gone- her wild unknown, unpredictable, potential. She wrings me dry and leaves me exhausted and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I thank her, as the true friend she is to me. Chaos makes the unbreakable, breakable and that is true freedom.